martes, 18 de septiembre de 2007
brain size
Increasing your Awareness of Self and Others
By Brian Weiss, M.D.
One of the most important of lifes lesson's is to learn independence, to understand freedom.
This means independence from attachments, from results, from opinions, and from expectations. Breaking attachments leads to freedom, but breaking attachments does not mean abandoning a loving and meaningful relationship that nourishes your soul.
It means ending dependency on any person or thing. Love is never a dependency on any person or thing. Love is never a dependency.
Love is an absolute, unconditional, and timeless state that asks for nothing in return.
Since it is important to love and honor yourself, you should not remain in a destructive relationship, even if you feel that you love that other person.The connection with that person might not work because of your partners' problems, lack of understanding, or exercise of free will, but it is important to remember that love is timeless. You will have many more chances to get it right.
See the other person clearly, and don't put that person on a pedestal.
Your parents, your teachers, your authority figures are just people like you. They have their own fears, doubts, anxieties, and imperfections. They also have their own agendas, and sometimes you are a pawn in their games. See them as equals, as your brothers and sisters. Their judgments carry no extra weight. Consider their options. They may be wise. They may be right. But they may also be wrong.
In my workshops I often tell the story of a patient whose father was an aloof, distant, and authoritarian man. He was a judge, and he demanded a high pedestal for himself, not only from the people who appeared before him in court, but also from his wife and children.
He could never hug his daughter, nor could he tell her that he loved her.
After he died, she felt that her relationship with her father was unfinished, unresolved, but she could not see him clearly; the pedestal was too high.
One day, in a deeply relaxed state, my patient visualized her self in a beautiful garden. There, her father, younger and much healthier than in his declining days, appeared to her. "Think of me as your brother," he lovingly instructed. Those words changed the whole tenor of there relationship. She could now see her father as an equal, no longer a superior. She could see both his virtues and his flaws much more clearly and comfortably.
She could understand him and forgive him. She had been sustaining the pedestal, but now that pedestal disappeared, as did the distortion of reality that projection always causes. Love and forgiveness filled the vacuum.
Often we take personally the slings and arrows of our "abusers."
But frequently we are merely the interchangeable pawns of their own neurotic dramas. Anyone else in your position would have received the same treatment. There is nothing especially noxious or negatively noteworthy about you.
Beware of the packaging people come in. The most dangerous people often wear the most alluring packaging: exciting, fun, impulsive, risky, living on the edge. Often these outer traits blind your hearts eyes, and you do not see the danger. Learn to see with your heart, not your eyes.
Denial, the act of not being aware of inner feelings and fears and motivations, is the opposite of mindfulness. You can say and do things that can damage the relationship. When you are awakened, when you truly know yourself, you will not inadvertently hurt the other person.
Increasing your Awareness of Self and Others
By Brian Weiss, M.D.
One of the most important of lifes lesson's is to learn independence, to understand freedom.
This means independence from attachments, from results, from opinions, and from expectations. Breaking attachments leads to freedom, but breaking attachments does not mean abandoning a loving and meaningful relationship that nourishes your soul.
It means ending dependency on any person or thing. Love is never a dependency on any person or thing. Love is never a dependency.
Love is an absolute, unconditional, and timeless state that asks for nothing in return.
Since it is important to love and honor yourself, you should not remain in a destructive relationship, even if you feel that you love that other person.The connection with that person might not work because of your partners' problems, lack of understanding, or exercise of free will, but it is important to remember that love is timeless. You will have many more chances to get it right.
See the other person clearly, and don't put that person on a pedestal.
Your parents, your teachers, your authority figures are just people like you. They have their own fears, doubts, anxieties, and imperfections. They also have their own agendas, and sometimes you are a pawn in their games. See them as equals, as your brothers and sisters. Their judgments carry no extra weight. Consider their options. They may be wise. They may be right. But they may also be wrong.
In my workshops I often tell the story of a patient whose father was an aloof, distant, and authoritarian man. He was a judge, and he demanded a high pedestal for himself, not only from the people who appeared before him in court, but also from his wife and children.
He could never hug his daughter, nor could he tell her that he loved her.
After he died, she felt that her relationship with her father was unfinished, unresolved, but she could not see him clearly; the pedestal was too high.
One day, in a deeply relaxed state, my patient visualized her self in a beautiful garden. There, her father, younger and much healthier than in his declining days, appeared to her. "Think of me as your brother," he lovingly instructed. Those words changed the whole tenor of there relationship. She could now see her father as an equal, no longer a superior. She could see both his virtues and his flaws much more clearly and comfortably.
She could understand him and forgive him. She had been sustaining the pedestal, but now that pedestal disappeared, as did the distortion of reality that projection always causes. Love and forgiveness filled the vacuum.
Often we take personally the slings and arrows of our "abusers."
But frequently we are merely the interchangeable pawns of their own neurotic dramas. Anyone else in your position would have received the same treatment. There is nothing especially noxious or negatively noteworthy about you.
Beware of the packaging people come in. The most dangerous people often wear the most alluring packaging: exciting, fun, impulsive, risky, living on the edge. Often these outer traits blind your hearts eyes, and you do not see the danger. Learn to see with your heart, not your eyes.
Denial, the act of not being aware of inner feelings and fears and motivations, is the opposite of mindfulness. You can say and do things that can damage the relationship. When you are awakened, when you truly know yourself, you will not inadvertently hurt the other person.
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